just some things to share with you

2015 has come to an end!  Normally you will find my blog posts to be everything happy, positive, uplifting and on the bright side.  My deep love for Ian, Ann, Angus and Heather is the reason I have shared so openly, so much of my raw emotion and what I have been experiencing through this difficult time. The love and support extended to me and my family from everyone has been so overwhelming.  It means so much and we are forever grateful.

The next day comes and there are things that need to be done.  For some it's a travel day, for many it's a return to work day, for others it's a gathering and remembering day, for a very special few it is the day to sort through personal business.  I find solace in being "out & about" so that was what my need for today was.

It was a beautiful day on the Halifax waterfront.  

My sister joined me for a stroll along the snow covered boardwalk.  We window shopped at some places and I made actual purchases in other places.  It was quiet here this morning and I thoroughly enjoyed the peacefulness of that.  The sky was blue with wispy clouds and the temperature was not that low but the chill was bitter from the maritime dampness.  

The waterfront was festively colorful and it looked so pretty.  

The photo opportunities were there.  

Well into our walk and embracing being "out & about" and how it was making me feel, I could not help myself and I wanted to at least try to get into the boat. This was as far as I got.  At this point, my sister preferred to return to the warmth of her room.  You see, play time for my sister and I are at total opposite ends of the spectrum.  We have not played as adults before and I am sure she questioned in her mind "what the heck is she doing"!  

She went her way to do what she needed to do and I went my way to carry on with what I needed to do and where I needed to be.  I strolled further along the boardwalk for a closer view of the lighthouse.  As some of you know, I have a thing for lighthouses and they are displayed in my kitchen in every which way.  I see them as being guiders and protectors.  I feel something when I see them that I cannot describe.

I continued on up hill, a way up hill to the The Citadel.  

After visiting The Citadel and the surrounding area, I aimed for the hotel which was all downhill from here.  Once back at my room, we all connected and made a plan for the balance of the day.  We came from different directions to meet where we chatted, laughed, remembered and toasted to Ian with a huge gigantic big smile.  We shared munchies and then topped that off with dinner and of course mine was lobster with an Alexander Keith's IPA.  

I am a believer in signs and I am open to them.  A certain few of you are aware of that, it is more something I keep to myself and cherish.  It was time to leave for the airport in inclement weather.  It was dark, it was pelting rain, we were all so quiet, I was feeling sad and just holding on to my emotions.  We safely arrived at the airport and decided to see if any up front plus seats were available.  The Westjet attendant checking us in said there were three.  We opted to upgrade to those for a significant price each.  The computer would not accept our payment after she tried a couple of times.  She did not understand this, then just said they are yours for free.  We hugged her, she did not understand but we knew exactly what was happening, I could feel it.

Part way through out flight, sitting in our up front plus seats, my sister elbowed me and said do you see something out there?  She thought maybe she was seeing things.  Right away I saw the circle rainbow sitting on top of the clouds.  We watched it form and dissipate and form again for quite some time.  I later learned this is called a "Glory" and they are rare.  The hair on my arms stood on end!  I knew what was going on here.

We arrived back in Calgary safe and sound.  Once home behind my closed door,  I thought of Ann, Angus and Heather and remembered Ian.  I puttered around with mixed emotions and no purpose in mind.  Eventually later in the day,  I opened my suitcase to retrieve my Nova Scotia crystal tree ornament and hung it on my Christmas Tree.  While this Christmastime was sad and the ones yet to come no doubt will be too, I will be open to the warmth and comfort and protection that will come when I look at this ornament and remember Ian.